How Gratitude Changes Our Lives

via Daily Prompt: Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful way of changing the way we view life. When we are grateful, we focus on the good in our lives and not the bad. Gratitude is a positive emotion and we focus on being appreciative of others and are more likely to return the kindness. We are more likely to be happy when we are grateful. It makes our relationships stronger and we are less likely to complain about our lives. Showing gratitude helps us accept life as it is.

Ways we can show gratitude:

  • Saying a simple ‘thank you’ when a good turn is done to us by someone else.
  • Waking up every morning and writing down things that make us feel grateful.
  • Sending a gift or buy someone dinner.
  • Give a compliment and tell how much you appreciate a person.
  • Offer to help with doing a task that someone does not like or needs help with.
  • Listen if someone is having problems.
  • Not to be too hard on ourselves.
  • Do something we really enjoy as a treat once in a while.
  • Showing gratitude for material things as well as people so we appreciate what we have achieved.

Showing gratitude is not just about showing it to others but about being kind to ourselves and appreciating our achievements.

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Put Energy Into Something Positive

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I think we are all guilty of using our energy in negative ways. However, using our energy in a positive way benefits us for a variety of reasons. Using energy positively can come in the form of playing sports, reading a book, yoga, keeping a gratitude journal, writing, learning a musical instrument or learning a new skill.

  • Keeping busy helps us deal with stress. When we are busy we do not focus on our problems. When we are not focusing on our problems we are not going to worry about them.
  • We do not waste our own valuable time if we are using our energy in a positive way. We only have a certain amount of time in the day. Once the time is gone, it is gone.
  • We can focus on creating something and getting results. This gives us a feeling of satisfaction.
  • It keeps a positive frame of mind. This is great for success and life is a lot easier to deal with.

Overall, if we put our energy into something positive we are more likely to be stronger for dealing with the daily obstacles of life, have belief in ourselves, boost our self-esteem and confidence, find solutions and be inspired to be more creative. This will benefit our health, well-being and increase our chances of success.

Dealing With Rejection

There are a few ways I have found to be useful when dealing with rejection. Rejection can happen in any relationship whether it is in business or with peers.

The most important thing is to replace rejection with someone or something else. If rejection has come from a peer, make or form new relationships with other people that will be more rewarding. When it comes to business it is important to move on and find the correct people. Finding things we enjoy doing and working on something positive will help us to cope and take our focus away from rejection.

Do not take rejection too personally. If it is coming from a peer, the issues are likely with them or we are not in the correct relationships for us to grow. If it is in business, they are not the correct person for the job. Walk away and move on.

Be interested in others. This way it is easy to find good friends and workmates. Finding passions that are enjoyable in order to mix with people with similar interests will be of great benefit so bonding in relationships will be much easier.

Rejection gives the chance to change and discover who we are and what we want. We are able to really appreciate what we want and pursue it. If it is not what we want we can change our circumstances and if it is what we want we know we are following the right path.

Rejection is not a good feeling, but staying strong will keep a focus on how to improve the situation. People reject others for different reasons. Sometimes it is done intentionally to hurt and sometimes it is just not the right circumstance or relationship.

The most important lesson is to learn from experiences. Find the right situations and the rewarding relationships. There is a saying ‘when one door closes, another door opens’.

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Using Our Own Products

When selling products, there is a great advantage in having a passion and interest in what we sell. Learning that they work and that we want to use them increases the belief for ourselves as well as the customer. We can comfortably sell products because we believe what we are saying about the product is true.


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If we use the products we sell ourselves, we will have a good knowledge of how they work and how to use them. We can describe the features and benefits of each product. For example, if we are selling a face cream and we use it ourselves, we are able to share our experiences of using the product. We will also have a knowledge of how it meets the needs of the customer. We can also back up what is claimed about the product.

Being able to show how products work gives our customers a feeling of trust towards us and we can be completely honest and upfront about how genuine they are. This provides a better service to customers and adds value to our business.

For me, I have a great passion and interest in the products that I sell. If there is something I need for the house or cosmetics, I use my own products. The reason is I believe they work and do what they say. I will not sell a product I do not believe in.

Getting customers to review products they have bought gives me a feeling of satisfaction that the customer is happy with their purchase. It also gives me an insight into the products I have not yet had a chance to use myself. After all, I want customers to be happy and satisfied with the products they buy.


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Personality Disorders: The Psychopath

When studying about different personality disorders, I have learned that Psychopaths are not all dangerous and are not all criminals. Not all criminals are psychopaths. Psychopaths among us can have very successful careers and live very successful lives.

There are different traits of the Psychopath:

  • They are very charming and are very intelligent.
  • They are never shy around others.
  • Everything is about them.
  • They are easily bored and find that they need to have constant stimulation.
  • They are pathological liars, that manipulate and con others.
  • They lack good sense and judgement.
  • They have no guilt, remorse, are callous, without empathy, shallow emotions and are unable to feel love.
  • They have poor control of their tempers.
  • They indulge in sexual promiscuity.
  • They never take responsibility.
  • They feel they are special and superior to others.
  • They are always seeking gratification and reward.

What causes Psychopathy?

The causes of Psychopathy can be due to a number of factors. Childhood experiences and genetics such as deformities in the brain associated with emotions. Psychopathy can start as early as childhood. People who indulge in theft, vandalism, bullying and substance abuse are more likely to be or become psychopaths.

Psychopathy explained:

Psychopaths are very false and superficial. They charm people around them and they use this charm to get what they want. Everything in life is about them, what they want, what they need and they lie and manipulate others into getting what they want. They control others for personal gain and feel no guilt or remorse for this. They are actually unable to connect with other people emotionally and do not care about the needs of others. They are unable to control their temper and it is obvious through bouts of verbal or physical abuse. They are very easily annoyed, irritated and impatient with others. The impulsiveness of the psychopath leads them to take action without thinking, they also can have multiple sexual partners. Sexual partners are more of an ego boost or a conquest to them because they never feel any love or affection for the people they are intimately involved with. When they make mistakes, they will never accept responsibility and they certainly never learn from them. The grandiose view of themselves makes them think they are superior to others and they deserve better than others.

Dealing with a Psychopath:

When dealing with a psychopath it depends on the degree of the condition. It also depends on how involved we are with that person. If they cause significant harm, cutting ties is the best option. They are very clever and can manipulate into seeing that the victim is the bad person and not them. Protecting ourselves is vital as well as getting the support and help we need.


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Rivers, C. (2014). Personality disorders and mental illnesses. [Place of publication not identified]: [publisher not identified], chapter 2 to chapter 5.

What I Have Learned So Far

Through my journey of personal development, I have learned so much about life and people. It is amazing how learning about human behaviour and how I look at life affects how I cope. Dealing with life before my journey was full of confusion and negativity.

I have learned that I can’t change or control the people around me. People are going to act the way they are going to act. I can’t control how they behave, it is totally out of my hands. I can only control how I feel and react. I know that when people behave in a certain way it is not necessarily anything to do with me but how they feel. I also have learned to deal with people. If I have a relationship with a person that is very difficult, sometimes it is best to walk away. I could spend my life trying to keep people happy, however, it will not change things. Being true to myself is so important.


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Focusing on my own life and goals will lead me to the right path. This gives me something to work towards. Keeping feeding my mind with the right information will lead me to what I want and will give me a positive view of life. Positive thinking is essential. This way I will have very few bad days. When things go wrong I need to keep moving forward and not look back and dwell on it.


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Trying new things and moving out of my comfort zone will give me the confidence to build the lifestyle I want. This will remove any fear and uncertainty that I carry. If I try something and it does not work, there is always plan B, that I have learned from it and can move forward with a different path.


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Believing in myself and working towards my goals is a difficult area for me. I think we all loose belief now and again, it is difficult to think that something exists if it has not happened yet. If I keep believing, I will take the right action towards my goals.


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Action is important for results. Belief will not get me what I want without taking action towards it. Once I have achieved what I want I will have created the foundation for the life I want. The rewards might seem small to start but over time they will grow. It is about taking the right action in the right direction.

These steps will create happiness, health and a good future. Working on improving my weaknesses in these areas will improve my life greatly.

Choice of Words

During my journey of personal development, I have learned how much the choice of words used influences the way we think.


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We grow up with negativity around us. As children, we have negative words constantly thrown at us, ‘do not do that’, ‘that is wrong’ and ‘no’. We are also bombarded with this in the media. We are unaware of how much we are influenced. We should be using words such as, ‘it would be better if you…’, ‘you could…’ and ‘this is better… because’. The idea is to explain how to do something correctly and say why something is wrong in a constructive way rather than just using a negative phrase or word. It programs our minds in the right direction as well as giving us an understanding of how to improve ourselves and our actions.

How we use language affects how we think. If we are constantly being exposed to the negative, our inner voice will be negative, if we are exposed to the positive, our inner voice will be positive. It is very difficult today because the environment around us is negative, however, it is best for us to learn how to deal with our environment and to let it influence us as little as possible.

Positive words lead us to positive thinking. It is best to feed our minds with good. If we always think positive, we will be less likely to have bad days. Everyone has problems that come up from time to time, but it is how we deal with them is what determines how well we cope. Positive thinking helps us cope through the bad times. If we think negatively we are going to struggle each time a problem arises.

Think Before We Speak And Act

My experiences of life have taught me many things. One of the most important lessons is using my head. I have never felt good or proud of myself for saying or doing something negative to someone else. We take our relationships with others for granted. If we actually thought and experienced being on our own and having no one to support us through our ups and downs, share our life with, people to chat and have fun with, we would think a lot harder about the things we say and do. We need to think about how we behave affects our relationships and the society around us.

We are all guilty of saying things we should not say and doing things we should not do, after all, we are human. However, we must make an effort to learn from our mistakes and think about the consequences of our actions. I am not necessarily saying that we must stay in destructive relationships. There is no doubt that we must free ourselves from harm because it will not benefit us down the line, but we must not cause unnecessary harm. We must also remember that healthy relationships have boundaries. Be good to people, but we should not allow them to abuse us. We have to learn to respect each other as well as ourselves because it is important that we have healthy functioning relationships and a healthy society.

Thinking before we speak or take action does not mean that we stay quiet. It is about getting balance. If we are being harmed we need to speak up to sort the problem. There is a difference between speaking up to sort a problem than to saying and doing things harmful to someone because we are angry, jealous or resentful. If we do not sort problems they will continue.

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Life is very short and we should spend it learning to grow and make our societies a better place for our children. If we do not do this, what future do we have? We are not an island and we need the companionship of others.

Treating others badly has to be thought about carefully. Why would we want to anyway? We have to think about the sort of people we are if we take pleasure in doing this. We are not able to take back the things we do or say, however, there is always a chance for forgiveness and a chance to repair the damage, but it might take some time and we could have permanently ruined the relationship. It also damages society so think carefully.


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My final thoughts are that I have learned greatly from my experiences whether they are good or bad. People who have treated me unfairly or been unkind to me have made me grow. I chose to turn the bad experiences around and learn from them, they have made me stronger. People who have stood by me, who have been supportive and good to me have given me a sense of belonging and companionship. The more I learn from my mistakes, the better person I become. The better person I become, it allows me to cope better with the challenges of life. Relationships with good people are very important. Respect is important because without this we loose our worth as human beings.

I always think to myself before I speak or act:

  • Am I being fair and honest?
  • How will my words or actions affect the other person?
  • How will my words or actions affect the relationship?
  • Will it make my relationship better or will it destroy it for good?
  • What are my reasons for taking action?
  • Am I just being resentful, jealous or angry and not doing it for the right reasons?

Personality Disorders: The Sociopath

Sociopaths are not all criminals and are not all violent. They are also not necessarily dangerous. Some people have traits of a sociopath that play a very productive part in society such as being confident, not conforming to social norms and thinking independently. However, there are more destructive traits that the sociopath possesses.


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The characteristics of a person which might suggest they are a sociopath:

  • Do they use people on a regular basis?
  • Do they not have any consideration for others?
  • Do they take from others all the time?
  • Do they constantly lie?
  • Are they always looking for pity and for people to feel sorry for them?
  • Do they take advantage of another persons kindness?
  • Do they make people feel guilty?
  • Do they get bored easily?
  • Are they very charming?
  • Do they always seek stimulation?
  • Do they use flattery?
  • Do they feel they are entitled to things and that others owe them?
  • Do they blame others for their mistakes?
  • Do they acknowledge any faults or mistakes they have or have made?

If we know someone who has many of these characteristics, it is not a good relationship to be in.

Sociopaths are very charming. They have an over the top sexual appetite and use sex to relieve their boredom. They often engage in risky behaviour. They betray people because they lack any feelings of guilt, shame and remorse. They can be threatening and can harm others. They are very interested in themselves and are great liars. When they deceive others it is a form of power and control for them which they thrive on. They are very intelligent people and often they have a high IQ. They can use this to manipulate others. They lack feelings of balanced people such as love, compassion, conscience, shame and guilt. They do not admit to any of their faults and they love to wear a mask. They will do anything to avoid being confronted and for people to find out the real person.

What causes a person to be a sociopath?

The wiring in the brain is different from the rest of the population. It is not really known what causes a sociopath because they come from all walks of life. There does not seem to be a link to the kind of childhood they had.

Their Goals

The goals of a sociopath is to get what ever they want at any cost, even at the expense of others. What they want can include:

MoneyThey will manipulate another person to get it, make them feel loved and most likely never ask directly for it. They want things handed to them for free. They live off others because they feel they are entitled to it.

Sex

Sociopaths crave stimulation. They often use sex to relieve boredom. Lasting relationships for them rarely happens and can have multiple relationships at a time. It is entertainment for them.

To get something from another person

They will often use people to do things for them. They will not engage in a relationship unless they get something out of it. They use lying, manipulation and deception to get what they want.

Status and image

This is very important to the sociopath, they want to hide their true nature and they want to be in relationships with people that will heighten their status. They will use these people to cover up their true self. They will go to the lengths of spreading lies to destroy the credibility of others to make them look good.

Control

They love to dominate. They manipulate and deceive others to stay in control. They want to feel superior and will harm others to get this. They hate to loose control and be exposed. People are possessions to them and they can be very paranoid, jealous and possessive.

They always want to win

They take great pleasure out of seeing others fail.

Dealing with a sociopath

Normal people have a natural connection to other people. This is because they share the same feelings of the ups and downs of life. When normal people hurt each other, they feel guilty. Sociopaths do not have these feelings.

When dealing with sociopaths it is best to seek help from a professional. Stopping the contact with a harmful person is sometimes the only option. They will continue to manipulate. They will isolate a victim from others and say what they want to portray that it is not them that has the issues. It is best that they know as little about a person as possible. This way they cannot use the victims strengths and weaknesses against them and sociopaths are very good at spotting a persons strengths and weaknesses. Their nature cannot be changed as they do not believe that there is anything wrong with them. They cannot be cured as their brains are wired differently.

Final thought

As I said before, sociopaths are not all criminals. Some people have mild traits and do not commit crimes. However, if a relationship is harmful and destructive it is better to give a wide birth to find peace because there is nothing you can do to change them.

Rivers, C. (2014). Personality disorders and mental illnesses. [Place of publication not identified]: [publisher not identified], chapter 6 to chapter 10.


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Personality Disorders: The Narcissist

Understanding different personalities helps us protect ourselves, teaches us how to deal with people who have these personalities and how they might affect our lives.

Narcissism is actually very common to some degree, but it depends how it affects daily life.

We have to think:

  • How do we react to criticism? Do we go on the defense and justify the criticism? OR Do we learn from mistakes and experience?
  • How do we behave towards how others feel? Are we considerate? OR Do we gloat on our superiority and criticise that person?
  • How do we view ourselves? Do we recognise our faults? OR Do we feel we have no faults or do not recognise them?
  • What do we look to achieve in life? Do we work towards selfless goals and have positive plans for the future? OR Do we want constant attention and drama in our lives?
  • How do we treat others? Do we work towards what we want with consideration for others? OR Do we exploit others to get what we want?
  • How do we feel about ourselves? Do we feel equal to others? OR Do we feel we are entitled to special treatment and that we are better than those around us?

We all have a certain amount of narcissism in us but it depends on how harmful it is to the people around us.

The person who is a Narcissist is focused on themselves through vanity. They are only interested in their own physical and intellectual characteristics. It is very high levels of self-confidence but underneath are very insecure and feel threatened by others achievements. They lack the compassion and humility of normal, balanced people. They are defensive towards others, especially if their self-esteem has been threatened by someone and as a result they will become hostile to that person. It is very destructive on society and the people around them.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

We can all have traits of narcissism but with Narcissistic Personality Disorder it is more severe and the Narcissist damages their relationships with the people around them. They think they are the most important people in the world who deserve special treatment. They think they are the only priority because they feel they are more important and they should be dealt with first. They are always seeking attention and appreciation from others. What really scares me the most and is very dangerous about one of the traits, they have a total lack of empathy for others. They manipulate people and treat other people in a negative way. An example of this lack of empathy could be being critical towards another person, maybe because of a haircut that the Narcissist does not like, the person being criticised tells the Narcissist that they have hurt their feelings and rather than the Narcissist reflecting or apologising for their actions they disregard the victims feelings because they feel that the haircut hurts their feelings and not the victims as they don’t like it. They are very selfish, manipulative and too self-assertive. Assertiveness is about putting your point across without being aggressive, having reflection and respecting others. However, the Narcissist is aggressive in putting their point across and they put others down to make themselves look better. It is about jealousy, competition and comparison. An extreme Narcissist denies or is unaware of their condition so they will not seek treatment.

What causes Narcissism?

It is not fully known what causes Narcissism, however, there are a few factors that could be the cause such as genetic, parenting, society and culture.

How To Identify A Narcissist

These are the qualities that identify a Narcissist:

  • They have very extremes of self-confidence, self-absorption and self-praise.
  • They manipulate others to get what they want.
  • They brag about things in their life, if they have nothing to brag about they become angry and hostile towards others.
  • They hang around the people who agree with them, give them praise and admiration.
  • They are snobs who put others down and talk behind their backs.
  • They are unaware of their extreme behaviour as they are unable to reflect.
  • They think their behaviour is acceptable and find it difficult when someone does not like them or does not agree with them.
  • They manipulate others to achieve their goals and to cover up their real selves. Once they have got what they want out of you, you get dismissed and they will not want anything to do with you.
  • They don’t like criticism. If you criticise them they will become very hostile. Some will accept this face on but will be very bitter about it underneath.
  • They will not spend time with people unconditionally, they are more likely to spend time with people they get something out of. They want to satisfy their own selfish desires.
  • They are very judgmental.
  • Have a very jealous nature.
  • They are hostile and aggressive if they are criticised or fail at something.
  • They are the focus of every conversation and take over.
  • They always want to feel superior.

The patterns of behaviour with a Narcissist and a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are the extremes. People with a healthy self-esteem will get success in life such as getting jobs and accomplishments but they consider other peoples feelings and help others. They have self-respect. Most people who have their feelings hurt don’t act out with anger and rage. Healthy people are not cruel to people if they do not give them what they want. Healthy people do not exploit others, do not gossip spread and start rumours that will harm other people’s reputations. Healthy people do not act the victim and they accept responsibility for their mistakes.


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How To Deal With A Narcissist

Dealing with a Narcissist is very difficult. If it causes significant harm the best way is to spend little time as possible with them or walk out of the relationship altogether. A good way to deal with them is to have compassion. In the end, the Narcissist has feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred towards themselves. However, this does not mean allowing them to do what they want to you. Having an attitude that is non-responsive is best. Narcissists love drama so don’t give it to them. Give them genuine praise on the qualities they do have. Be more docile in criticism. Don’t demand or expect support as a Narcissist is unable to provide it. Offer them support and a way to get help. However, some Narcissists do not recognise they have a problem so this is easier said than done. Above all keep your emotions neutral and give no emotional reaction. Keep your dignity and don’t sink to their level, leave them to look stupid.

My final point is that most people have some mild levels of Narcissism, however, this does not mean they are a Narcissist or have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It comes down to how extreme is their behaviour. If they have no empathy towards others, take great enjoyment out of harming others and are unable to recognise this, we have to consider how much time we want to spend around this person.

Rivers, C. (2014). Personality disorders and mental illnesses. [Place of publication not identified]: [publisher not identified], chapter 11 to chapter 14.