There are a few ways I have found to be useful when dealing with rejection. Rejection can happen in any relationship whether it is in business or with peers.
The most important thing is to replace rejection with someone or something else. If rejection has come from a peer, make or form new relationships with other people that will be more rewarding. When it comes to business it is important to move on and find the correct people. Finding things we enjoy doing and working on something positive will help us to cope and take our focus away from rejection.
Do not take rejection too personally. If it is coming from a peer, the issues are likely with them or we are not in the correct relationships for us to grow. If it is in business, they are not the correct person for the job. Walk away and move on.
Be interested in others. This way it is easy to find good friends and workmates. Finding passions that are enjoyable in order to mix with people with similar interests will be of great benefit so bonding in relationships will be much easier.
Rejection gives the chance to change and discover who we are and what we want. We are able to really appreciate what we want and pursue it. If it is not what we want we can change our circumstances and if it is what we want we know we are following the right path.
Rejection is not a good feeling, but staying strong will keep a focus on how to improve the situation. People reject others for different reasons. Sometimes it is done intentionally to hurt and sometimes it is just not the right circumstance or relationship.
The most important lesson is to learn from experiences. Find the right situations and the rewarding relationships. There is a saying ‘when one door closes, another door opens’.
When selling products, there is a great advantage in having a passion and interest in what we sell. Learning that they work and that we want to use them increases the belief for ourselves as well as the customer. We can comfortably sell products because we believe what we are saying about the product is true.
If we use the products we sell ourselves, we will have a good knowledge of how they work and how to use them. We can describe the features and benefits of each product. For example, if we are selling a face cream and we use it ourselves, we are able to share our experiences of using the product. We will also have a knowledge of how it meets the needs of the customer. We can also back up what is claimed about the product.
Being able to show how products work gives our customers a feeling of trust towards us and we can be completely honest and upfront about how genuine they are. This provides a better service to customers and adds value to our business.
For me, I have a great passion and interest in the products that I sell. If there is something I need for the house or cosmetics, I use my own products. The reason is I believe they work and do what they say. I will not sell a product I do not believe in.
Getting customers to review products they have bought gives me a feeling of satisfaction that the customer is happy with their purchase. It also gives me an insight into the products I have not yet had a chance to use myself. After all, I want customers to be happy and satisfied with the products they buy.
When studying about different personality disorders, I have learned that Psychopaths are not all dangerous and are not all criminals. Not all criminals are psychopaths. Psychopaths among us can have very successful careers and live very successful lives.
There are different traits of the Psychopath:
- They are very charming and are very intelligent.
- They are never shy around others.
- Everything is about them.
- They are easily bored and find that they need to have constant stimulation.
- They are pathological liars, that manipulate and con others.
- They lack good sense and judgement.
- They have no guilt, remorse, are callous, without empathy, shallow emotions and are unable to feel love.
- They have poor control of their tempers.
- They indulge in sexual promiscuity.
- They never take responsibility.
- They feel they are special and superior to others.
- They are always seeking gratification and reward.
What causes Psychopathy?
The causes of Psychopathy can be due to a number of factors. Childhood experiences and genetics such as deformities in the brain associated with emotions. Psychopathy can start as early as childhood. People who indulge in theft, vandalism, bullying and substance abuse are more likely to be or become psychopaths.
Psychopaths are very false and superficial. They charm people around them and they use this charm to get what they want. Everything in life is about them, what they want, what they need and they lie and manipulate others into getting what they want. They control others for personal gain and feel no guilt or remorse for this. They are actually unable to connect with other people emotionally and do not care about the needs of others. They are unable to control their temper and it is obvious through bouts of verbal or physical abuse. They are very easily annoyed, irritated and impatient with others. The impulsiveness of the psychopath leads them to take action without thinking, they also can have multiple sexual partners. Sexual partners are more of an ego boost or a conquest to them because they never feel any love or affection for the people they are intimately involved with. When they make mistakes, they will never accept responsibility and they certainly never learn from them. The grandiose view of themselves makes them think they are superior to others and they deserve better than others.
Dealing with a Psychopath:
When dealing with a psychopath it depends on the degree of the condition. It also depends on how involved we are with that person. If they cause significant harm, cutting ties is the best option. They are very clever and can manipulate into seeing that the victim is the bad person and not them. Protecting ourselves is vital as well as getting the support and help we need.
Rivers, C. (2014). Personality disorders and mental illnesses. [Place of publication not identified]: [publisher not identified], chapter 2 to chapter 5.
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Through my journey of personal development, I have learned so much about life and people. It is amazing how learning about human behaviour and how I look at life affects how I cope. Dealing with life before my journey was full of confusion and negativity.
I have learned that I can’t change or control the people around me. People are going to act the way they are going to act. I can’t control how they behave, it is totally out of my hands. I can only control how I feel and react. I know that when people behave in a certain way it is not necessarily anything to do with me but how they feel. I also have learned to deal with people. If I have a relationship with a person that is very difficult, sometimes it is best to walk away. I could spend my life trying to keep people happy, however, it will not change things. Being true to myself is so important.
Focusing on my own life and goals will lead me to the right path. This gives me something to work towards. Keeping feeding my mind with the right information will lead me to what I want and will give me a positive view of life. Positive thinking is essential. This way I will have very few bad days. When things go wrong I need to keep moving forward and not look back and dwell on it.
Trying new things and moving out of my comfort zone will give me the confidence to build the lifestyle I want. This will remove any fear and uncertainty that I carry. If I try something and it does not work, there is always plan B, that I have learned from it and can move forward with a different path.
Believing in myself and working towards my goals is a difficult area for me. I think we all loose belief now and again, it is difficult to think that something exists if it has not happened yet. If I keep believing, I will take the right action towards my goals.
Action is important for results. Belief will not get me what I want without taking action towards it. Once I have achieved what I want I will have created the foundation for the life I want. The rewards might seem small to start but over time they will grow. It is about taking the right action in the right direction.
These steps will create happiness, health and a good future. Working on improving my weaknesses in these areas will improve my life greatly.
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During my journey of personal development, I have learned how much the choice of words used influences the way we think.
We grow up with negativity around us. As children, we have negative words constantly thrown at us, ‘do not do that’, ‘that is wrong’ and ‘no’. We are also bombarded with this in the media. We are unaware of how much we are influenced. We should be using words such as, ‘it would be better if you…’, ‘you could…’ and ‘this is better… because’. The idea is to explain how to do something correctly and say why something is wrong in a constructive way rather than just using a negative phrase or word. It programs our minds in the right direction as well as giving us an understanding of how to improve ourselves and our actions.
How we use language affects how we think. If we are constantly being exposed to the negative, our inner voice will be negative, if we are exposed to the positive, our inner voice will be positive. It is very difficult today because the environment around us is negative, however, it is best for us to learn how to deal with our environment and to let it influence us as little as possible.
Positive words lead us to positive thinking. It is best to feed our minds with good. If we always think positive, we will be less likely to have bad days. Everyone has problems that come up from time to time, but it is how we deal with them is what determines how well we cope. Positive thinking helps us cope through the bad times. If we think negatively we are going to struggle each time a problem arises.
My experiences of life have taught me many things. One of the most important lessons is using my head. I have never felt good or proud of myself for saying or doing something negative to someone else. We take our relationships with others for granted. If we actually thought and experienced being on our own and having no one to support us through our ups and downs, share our life with, people to chat and have fun with, we would think a lot harder about the things we say and do. We need to think about how we behave affects our relationships and the society around us.
We are all guilty of saying things we should not say and doing things we should not do, after all, we are human. However, we must make an effort to learn from our mistakes and think about the consequences of our actions. I am not necessarily saying that we must stay in destructive relationships. There is no doubt that we must free ourselves from harm because it will not benefit us down the line, but we must not cause unnecessary harm. We must also remember that healthy relationships have boundaries. Be good to people, but we should not allow them to abuse us. We have to learn to respect each other as well as ourselves because it is important that we have healthy functioning relationships and a healthy society.
Thinking before we speak or take action does not mean that we stay quiet. It is about getting balance. If we are being harmed we need to speak up to sort the problem. There is a difference between speaking up to sort a problem than to saying and doing things harmful to someone because we are angry, jealous or resentful. If we do not sort problems they will continue.
Life is very short and we should spend it learning to grow and make our societies a better place for our children. If we do not do this, what future do we have? We are not an island and we need the companionship of others.
Treating others badly has to be thought about carefully. Why would we want to anyway? We have to think about the sort of people we are if we take pleasure in doing this. We are not able to take back the things we do or say, however, there is always a chance for forgiveness and a chance to repair the damage, but it might take some time and we could have permanently ruined the relationship. It also damages society so think carefully.
My final thoughts are that I have learned greatly from my experiences whether they are good or bad. People who have treated me unfairly or been unkind to me have made me grow. I chose to turn the bad experiences around and learn from them, they have made me stronger. People who have stood by me, who have been supportive and good to me have given me a sense of belonging and companionship. The more I learn from my mistakes, the better person I become. The better person I become, it allows me to cope better with the challenges of life. Relationships with good people are very important. Respect is important because without this we loose our worth as human beings.
I always think to myself before I speak or act:
- Am I being fair and honest?
- How will my words or actions affect the other person?
- How will my words or actions affect the relationship?
- Will it make my relationship better or will it destroy it for good?
- What are my reasons for taking action?
- Am I just being resentful, jealous or angry and not doing it for the right reasons?