Mental Strength and Good Habits

I am learning the importance of keeping strong during hard times and learning to appreciate what I have.

It does not matter how much money, success and how perfect life seems, things can go wrong and we have to be able to cope and keep going no matter what. Good habits are what keep us going. So it is important for us to change our ways of thinking and create good habits and beliefs.

If we have negative beliefs about ourselves, we will feel sorry for ourselves and think we are not good enough. If we have negative beliefs about others, we will have feelings of jealousy and a lack of trust. This will affect our relationships. If we have negative feelings about the world, we will think the world owes us and it should be fair to us when it is not like that. It is about coping with problems and learning to be happy.

It is not easy to do as we have the habit of slipping back into our negative thoughts. The best way to deal with this is for us to recognise when we are following the negative path and then replace these thoughts with positive ones. This is what I do. I find it really helps.

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Getting Back To Nature

Today, living in our busy environment with the stresses and strains, it is important that we do not forget the little things in life that are all around us. Getting away from it all for a while is essential for us to recharge.


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I enjoy going out for a walk on the beach or in the country as it allows me to get away from my busy life. There are many ways we can enjoy ourselves in the outdoors. It can be activities such as cycling, hiking or canoeing.


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I feel nature benefits us in many ways such as calming, reducing stress, helps us get a good nights sleep, reduces worry and anxiety. When we take regular breaks to be in nature we have a better overall physical and mental health.

I feel that when I get out into nature I am a different person. I feel more relaxed and calm. The fresh air helps me sleep better and I do not sit and think about problems to the same extent. I love the smell of nature around me, such as the flowers, the beautiful colours, the smell of the grass and the singing of the birds.


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Skills For Success!


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Dani Johnson is a woman who has been through so much, yet she has become highly successful in building a business. She has taught me so many useful tips, not only for my business but for use in my daily life.

1  It is important for us to realise that we should not wait for the perfect circumstances to start working towards our achievements and what we want. If we do, we will miss the chance. We should not make excuses for finding a way forward.

I started my business because I was working in a school playing piano. When that position was not required, I had to look for an alternative. As I did not want to go back into a 9 to 5 job, I came across a Network Marketing opportunity. It seemed right for me as it was flexible, I could work my own hours and it was a business which I preferred to do rather than work in paid employment.

 

2  Dani teaches that if we want to be successful, we have to follow people that have the lifestyle that we want and do what they do. We have to commit and be prepared to work for it. We need patience, training and a vision of what we want to achieve. Investing in our education is very important. Network Marketing is a very people orientated business.

I knew I would get the support I needed to build my business. I was prepared to be patient, after all, it took time for me to learn piano and flute in order to teach, so I knew I would need to learn how to do this business. I need to read the correct material to expand my knowledge.

 

3  Taking the advice of successful people is essential. We have to put into practice what we learn and keep learning. Make the decision we are going to do this despite what others say.

I need to mix with successful people. In this business I need to learn, it is essential for success so I need to attend my training.

 

4  We must always be open minded or we will never grow. When we have had bad experiences, it should not prevent us from choosing to do something to improve our lives. Take the risk, there is no security in anything and we never know when things will work out. We need to learn professional skills to become a professional. High effort brings high results, low effort brings low results. There is a chance that things will not work out, but if we do not try, they will definitely not.

This is something that I need to work on. I need to work towards trying new things. They do not need to be major changes to start, as long as it is something that works towards what I want to achieve. I am not the best at taking risks. I am always afraid of the consequences, however, if I do not take any chances, I will not grow. Risks do not have to be major, I can take it a small step at a time. I need to step out of my comfort zone in order to progress.

 

5  When we are a leader, we need to create system dependent people, not co-dependent people. Let our team members step-up and take action, we should not do it all ourselves. Delegate to others as team members have to build their own independent business. They have to be shown how to take care of themselves and find things out themselves.

I need to work on teaching my team members to be independent. If I guide my team members in the right direction, towards training and support, they will be able to build their own business.

 

6  If we want to make more money with less stress, we have to go into things with enough skill, wisdom and belief to be successful. If we sit on the fence, we will never succeed. We all have lots of areas where we have wasted money and time through bad choices. Risk takers are the ones that make history, spending time on things that are fruitful and do not care what others think. Get on with what we have to do and get the job done with results. The higher our skills, the more we will be paid. Do not worry about rejection, just think to ourselves that not everyone will say no.

Keeping on top of my personal development is essential so I keep learning new skills and how to deal with building a business.

 

7  When talking to people, it is important that we understand it is how we say things not what we say. People can sense facial expressions over the phone. If we are smiling, it does show in the way we speak. If we are confident, this will be communicated to the listener. However, if we are frustrated, doubtful, anxious or nervous, this will be communicated to the listener. We have to correct our non-verbal communication.

If I keep confident on the phone, the listener will feel confident about the opportunity. My confidence will give them belief in the business.

 

8  Dani teaches us that our skills can never be taken from us. The more skills we have, the more money we will make. Improve ourselves from our experiences. When we do not succeed after being discouraged or frustrated, we must think of a number of factors to improve such as; thinking in the long term, unconditional commitment, build our skills, have belief, spend time with successful people, be teachable, listen to others who give us good advice, focus on our goals, work hard and above all, not to wait for the perfect circumstances and work with what we have. When it comes to earning money, we are paid for our value. Our value is our skills. Developing people skills are important. Any business or occupation will not grow outwith our skill level. We do not want to be high maintenance to our employers, otherwise we will be first in line for redundancy or loss of our job. Skills breed confidence and excuses come from fear and fear comes from the unknown.

My skills are essential for my success. I am spending a lot of time researching my strengths and weaknesses through personal development so I will become a better person.

 

9  We have to have belief that we are going to reach our goals. We cannot rob ourselves of opportunities because we make excuses. Come out of the whining attitude and learn to win. Many people fail because they have the attitude that they want something for nothing and are not prepared to work for what they want. We must put in effort to get the results that we want. The important thing is to follow directions. Success is not possible through cutting corners. Count on ourselves to be responsible to achieve the future we want.

I have been guilty in the past of making excuses and talking myself out of doing a task. I need to work towards the things I want and have faith that they will happen.

 

10  Keep life simple and remove things that make our lives complicated. What we feed will grow so it is important that we feed our activity and starve our doubts and anxieties. Focus on results. We never know when our lives are going to turn out for the best or turn out for the worst, but we can put ourselves in the position that our lives will get better. A fact of life is we duplicate what we give out. If we are negative, we will duplicate negativity. If we increase our skills and learn as much as possible, we will better ourselves.

I have put my goals on my vision board and put it in the hall where I can see it every day. This will help feed my activity and give me something to work towards.

 

11  Discouragement and disappointment builds our character. It is about how we react to things whether we are successful or not. We have to copy successful people and what they have done to become successful. We must never quit. We all have strengths and weaknesses but it is about having the belief to succeed. What has happened in our past does not have to equal our future, we can change things for the better. Success comes from trusting in ourselves, having a good work ethic and persistence. Make a commitment, drop that ego and be teachable.

I have to learn that when things go wrong it is character building. I am very good at consistency so I will not quit when things get tough. If I have a positive outlook when things go wrong, I will recover and get back on track.

 

Dani has done many courses throughout the US and she has a selection of books that can be purchased in order to better our skills in work and life.

“Quick Start – 30 Day Boot Camp”. Smarter Networker. N.p., 2005. Web. 20 Aug. 2016.


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Training Our Mind For Success

I have just finished a fantastic course by Dave O’Connor. He is a Mindset Expert and Coaches Network Marketers on achieving success. Dave’s courses can be applied in any walk of life, not just business but also our personal life.

He discusses how to have healthy and positive habits. This involves setting our goals, being consistent, challenging ourselves all the time, be clear on our vision and what success means to us.

He focuses on using our imagination to think, act and feel as if our dream has already happened. This can be in the form of post dating a cheque on how much we want to earn, write the date, the amount and our name. This will give us a goal of how much we want to earn and work towards. We can visualise where we want to live and use our imagination to feel that it is a reality. On top of this, we have to have a good work ethic and take action every day towards our goals.

We need to take action.  Have our goal in our mind all the time, go into dream mode, plan, structure and have a good routine. We must ensure that our daily activities are working towards what we want and know what we need to do to achieve it. We must link our daily activities to our vision and prioritise our activities of importance. We have to do something that works towards our vision every day.

He discusses the good habit of taking time for ourselves. Although technology is fantastic for our everyday needs, we need to turn it off and take the time to chill. We need to clear our minds, meditation is great for this, keep visualising the end result and get outside and walk in nature. Walking in nature aids relaxation. Have a routine every morning and night to remind us of our goals and vision.

Dave talks about increasing our levels of belief. Say can rather than can’t. We need to overcome our limiting beliefs and modify our thoughts before they take hold. Also we have to observe how we talk to ourselves, how to deal with negative people around us and recognise our fears of being laughed at or sounding stupid. If we have a negative thought we need to think about a stop sign and two roads called negative and positive, then decide to travel down the positive road. When we increase our level of belief our doubt goes down. We need to keep connecting with our reason why we are dong things. Mix with people that have the lives that we want which will eventually rub off on us, it also reduces the amount of negativity that surrounds us.

Dave teaches us a state of mind for attracting what we want called the ABC State. A=Appreciation; what is good about our lives, this reduces our stress, frustration and fear. Be thankful for our family members, relationships, friends and clients. B=Bold Enthusiasm; take action when needed, lead by example and keep questioning our comfort zone so we can keep growing. C=Certainty; keep fighting and do not let outside influences affect us.

He talks about our to-do list. We must not get distracted by emails, facebook and messages as it wastes time when we are working on important tasks. Check our social media later and focus on what we want and need to achieve. Redirect our attention if we loose focus. We need to increase our positive to negative ratio to 3:1. It is ideal to be able to do 5:1. Cancel out every negative thought with at least three positive thoughts. Cancel out a negative thought by using the ABC State. Success is about our relationships with people. Eradicate any distractions. It does not mean not check our emails or messages but, not let them break our focus on a task we are doing that takes us towards out goals and vision. Say no to people if we are busy.

Success is about turning obstacles into opportunities. Growing every day is essential. There are going to be turmoils and challenges in our lives but we can progress from difficulties. We can’t control how people behave but we can control our own responses. They are opportunities to develop our character. We grow from failure and we must earn our success.

Dave gives us tips on how to overcome fear. Everyone feels fear, but we can overcome it. We must accept where we are now at this present time. We must not judge or criticise ourselves as it takes up so much energy. 9 out of 10 fears never actually happen. Focus on what we want, not what we are frightened of.

What is the pursuit of happiness? We must be responsible for our own emotions. We must avoid spreading negativity by sharing negative posts and moaning about our lives. This starts a following of negativity. We must find fun in the things we do. Laugh and enjoy life, not moan. Joy is connected to a good life. To be successful we need a strong work ethic with the correct mindset. Feel-good chemicals are released when we are happy and joyful and our brains will perform better.

He teaches us how to make the good habits stick. Set up good habits that keep us on the track to success. Every morning we must write down our goals. Write habits in our calendar and take action on the time stated. A good system is to measure habits every day with a rating system on how well we have done. 1 for not at all and 10 for fantastic. Our goals need emotional sensitivity so we must write them down every morning. Have trigger moments for achieving our habits, for example, when the kids go to school, go to the gym or go out for a walk, after you have your shower, write down your goals.

How we deal with negative people is essential to our success. Minimise our time with people who are psychologically draining. Keep a good environment around us. How we think about ourselves is how people treat us. We have to remember that we are in charge of our mind and emotions.

Model the people who have the lifestyle we want. We are brought up as children to be negative. This can be changed, but it does take time. We must value ourselves or no one will value us. Set our mind to abundance and wealth. Disregard the negative opinions of others. We must begin with ourselves and not with our bank accounts. See ourselves as special and meant to live a successful life through money, health and relationships.

At times when we loose our passion, there are steps for us to get it back. Detach from the past and clean up our emotional life. Everywhere we go, we must have a great time. We must keep working on our skills and mindset. We must remember it takes time to achieve success. In any chosen field it takes 10,000 hours to achieve expert level and 5 to 7 years to achieve our highest potential. Everything we do, we must think how this is connecting us to our purpose and that we are going somewhere. Above all, generate energy, excitement, motivate others and be enthusiastic.

Dealing with rejection is essential for us to progress. Most of the things we think are going to happen, never actually do. Our brains have a habit of working out the worst case scenario. Think to ourselves ‘awesome’ when we get rejected and this will help us keep a positive way of thinking. We must not have expectations for a yes or no, keep an open mind, people will not always say yes straight away. Our fear of being criticised has to be lowered. We must not base the world and our lives on what others think, they are often misguided anyway. There are a lot of people out there that are appreciative. We must believe in ourselves.

When we are a leader, become one. Leadership skills can be trained. When we are a leader we must stick to our vision, be consistent, have courage, move outside our comfort zone, learn how to treat people well, lead by example and even if people quit, continue what we are doing. Above all be honest and direct.

It is important that we learn to put out positive energy. We are able to pick up on other people’s emotions and they pick up on ours. Clear communication is essential as we do not know other people’s challenges or what is going on in their lives. We should be understanding, helpful and have patience with people. It is not our job to control everybody. Some people are not at the stage where they want to be because they do not have the necessary skills.

In our culture, it is socially acceptable to give our lives away. So we have to learn to be busy, but not rushed and stressed. Stress makes us feel miserable and out of balance. We have to work at a pace we can manage. We must be grateful for what we have and have healthy friendships, relationships and we must get rid of things that do not add value to our lives. 80% of our success comes from the way we think. We spend too much time in our lives on media and gossip. We must have a constructive life in order to be happy and satisfied. Happy experiences in our lives make the difference, they can be relived many times over.

To create good habits we need to break the bad habits. We have to make ourselves aware of the thought patterns that hold us back. We need to say  stop and interrupt any negative thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts and positive actions. We need to reflect on how we have done throughout the day such as; did we focus on what we had to do, did we respect others and show enthusiasm? We must learn to implement this to fight against what we are taught culturally. Put fun into daily activities and create good habits so they become routine.

Dave gives good advice on how to deal with a day that is not going well. We have to think back to the reasons why we are doing the things we are doing. We have to focus on the key activities for the day. We must take time out for ourselves and do something that makes us feel good. We must keep thinking to ourselves that life wants us to be successful and that we will live an abundant life. The day must not be left to chance, plan out the ideal day. Solve problems with calmness and peace.

We must not loose sight of our vision and must always work towards it. There are challenges in life, so we must use our challenges to our advantage. When we move out of our comfort zone, it feels uncomfortable so we must stay with the task until it becomes comfortable. Keeping the momentum going is essential for success. The more action we take, the more progress we will make. Following the example of successful people will get us success. We must keep acquiring skills and even once we have achieved one set of skills we need to keep growing.

Dave’s teaching throughout the course is fantastic. For anyone interested in personal development reading his books and attending his courses are essential for learning the necessary skills. These skills not only apply to business but also to everyday life and relationships.

“Dave O’connor – Mindset Mastery – Timeline | Facebook”. Facebook.com. N.p., 2016. Web. 20 Aug. 2016.


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My blog so far


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Well, I have had my blog up and running now for over 6 months.

It has been a lot of hard work reading and researching into different areas of personal development. Personal development benefits every area of our life, not just business. We grow in our relationships with people and build our confidence. We focus on what is important and do not waste time on tasks that are not constructive. Our general outlook on life is better.

I find I am much more enthusiastic and the time I spend on worrying and feeling sorry for myself has been greatly reduced. Changing my way of thinking will take time, it is a gradual process. I think we are all guilty of looking for a magic cure to solve our problems, but life is about taking action and working towards taking responsibility for our own lives.

I plan to write more of my own opinions and experiences as well as continuing to research and learn. Every time something negative happens, I am going to think about what I have learned for inspiration and how to deal with the problem. Over the next year, I am going to complete some courses from a variety of motivational speakers that contain videos, meditation and exercises.

I hope that everyone who reads my blog enjoys it and I hope I provide them with some valuable information to help with their lives.

Happy Memories


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Remembering good memories help us to focus away from the negativity around us.  I have written two good memories from my life that really stick in my mind.

The first is when I went on a Cruise around the Mediterranean with my dad and brothers. It was such a lot of fun and interesting seeing different places in the Mediterranean. We visited Gibraltar, Greece and Turkey. One of the cities that we visited in Greece was Olympia where the very first Olympic games was held. The ship was huge and it was a great experience, everything in one place. It was very relaxing, we were taken really good care of by the staff and we made some new friends. There was so much food. We had three meals a day as well as afternoon tea. So we were always stuffed. The staff were fantastic, were always ready to help and make sure we were comfortable. It is a memory that has definitely stuck in my mind. I would love to go on a cruise again in the future.

Another great memory from childhood was going on holiday to Aviemore, Scotland. We stayed in a lodge at Dalfaber Golf and Country Club. We went there every summer and it was so much fun. I went with my mum, dad, brothers and sister. I remember going swimming, the summer weather was beautiful so we went fishing and drank milkshakes from the bar. A vivid memory of that holiday was the beautiful silver birch trees that grew throughout the estate.

The Law Of Attraction

How does The Law Of Attraction work?

Bob Proctor is an author and motivational speaker on personal development.  I have watched some of his videos and read his books to understand the law if attraction.  He teaches us how we act is what we attract. To step out of our comfort zone and do things different. How we are guided to make decisions.  Our belief is what guides the way we do things.  Positive information has to be input to receive positive results.  How we can change what we were taught to believe. Think, Belief, Act, Results.

We follow what we are conditioned to think from our environment.  False beliefs are inherited and they control us.  We have to change this and go beyond what we are taught to believe and be in charge of our own lives.  We must keep positive beliefs and change negative beliefs.


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Meditation For Stress

Meditation has many benefits.  I have been introducing small amounts of meditation into my daily routine.  It can be used for fear, anxiety, insomnia, anger and so much more.  I find it relaxes me when I am stressed.  It takes me away from the hustle and bustle of life.

Meditation videos can be found by searching on You Tube. There are very short videos for before work and longer videos that can be used before bed. They can be guided meditations where a speaker talks through the meditation process. There are videos with sounds of nature. These are my favourite; rain, thunder, sounds of the jungle,  wind, water and the ocean. If you prefer listening to relaxing music, this is available with or without sounds of nature.

Go ahead and try them out :).


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Human Nature and Communication


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To be effective in communicating we have to understand the rules of human nature.  We must think to ourselves; Why we do things that we do? Why we react the way we do?

It is a fact that we are interested in ourselves.  Our actions are always determined through self-interest and self-thought.  We all want to be recognised and have a desire to be important.  We are all guilty of recognising people the way we think or want them to be. We have to learn to recognise people for what they are.

A great skill to have is making other people feel important.  Listen to the person speaking and give them sincere compliments. It is polite to use their name as much as possible when talking, it lets them know we have taken an interest in them and taken the time to remember their name.  Pause before answering, it gives us time to think about what we are going to say and it shows we are processing what the speaker has said.  If we are talking to a group of people, acknowledge every person and encourage participation from them.

Be agreeable with others. Tell people that we agree with them.  Say ‘yes’ and we should show agreement by nodding our head.  Admitting when we are wrong is something that is very difficult for all of us but people will respect us for it. We should not disagree and argue with someone unless we really need to.  Learning to handle people who fight can be difficult.  The natural reaction is to fight and state our case.  However, this can be done in a way that does not flame the situation. People who fight want to, so do not give it to them.  It makes them look silly if they fight with us and we do not fight back.  No one ever wins an argument.

Listening to people is a great skill.  We can learn a lot from listening to what others have to say.  People love to be listened to.  Keep good eye contact.  If our eyes wander all over the place, the speaker will think we are not interested in them and are not listening.   Ask the speaker questions.  This shows we are processing what they are saying.  Don’t interrupt the speaker and keep on the subject.

Recognise that everyone is different.  We all like different things, so to create a bond with someone, find out what they want, not what we want of them.  This is found through listening, asking and watching them.

If we want someone to do something, give them a good reason.  Something that would benefit them or benefit everyone.  We are more likely to get cooperation.  Give people a choice of when or how they want something done.  An example would be to ask which day they would prefer to do the task.

Set the mood.  What we give to other people we get back.  Give happiness and you will get happiness back.  Give a smile and keep a positive tone of voice.

Give people praise, they love this.  It brightens up their day.  If someone is feeling down, a compliment will go a long way in making them feel better so looking for something to praise in the people we speak to is important.  Everyone has something worth appreciation.  Do not give praise that is not sincere.  Focus on the act that has to be praised for example, ‘your cooking is really good’ and ‘you are a great gardener, your garden is beautiful’.

When we do have to criticise people, there are effective ways of doing it.  It must be done in private.  We do not want to humiliate the person we are criticising.  Do it in a friendly way and highlight their good actions at the same time so it softens the blow.  The act must be criticised, not the person, because after all it is the behaviour that is wrong.  Provide them with a resolution and ask for cooperation.

Thanking people is very important as it makes them feel appreciated.  Be sincere about it.  Say ‘thanks’ in a positive way, do not mumble or whisper.  Look at them and use their name to be polite.

It is important to give people a good impression of us.  Respect ourselves most importantly.  It is important to act the way we want to be treated.  Say things we mean, be enthusiastic, try to not be anxious, it puts doubt in peoples minds.  We must not build ourselves up by putting other people down.  If criticism is not constructive, it just shows us up and reveals things about us and our own life.

We must be knowledgeable about what we want to say.  We are all guilty of not doing this. We discuss topics that we do not have any knowledge.  It is also how we use our knowledge that is important and how we say things that makes us who we are.

These are some important tips on daily communication.  They are useful at work and with daily life in all our relationships.  Good communication is the key to happiness.

Giblin, L. (1985). Skill with people. Wyckoff, N.J.: L. Giblin.